When Adderall Felt Like Magic

How my “golden era of productivity” became a lesson in listening to my body’s deeper wisdom.

I may or may not have ADHD, but I was diagnosed with it and took Adderall for several years.

Although I was vaccinated, I got Covid multiple times and started experiencing brain fog during lockdown. In retrospect, it could have been many things that caused or worsened the slow thinking: increased screen time, less time with friends, more alcohol, less time outdoors, the stress of a global pandemic. On top of that, I had quit coffee because it was causing migraines, so I didn’t even have that familiar boost. Probably everything combined.

The fact was, I was struggling. I would sit in front of my computer for hours and get nothing done.

In my quest to feel better, several things converged that led me toward prescription medication. I had used MDMA in social settings and remembered the boundless energy it gave me. I thought about how amphetamines were the active ingredient in ADHD medication. So one day, before work, I tried one of my son’s Adderall pills.

I felt like a new person—rested, full of energy and ideas, enthusiastic about my work.

Soon after, I began investigating whether I might actually have ADHD or at least qualify for a prescription of my own. Because of the lockdown, laws had been eased, allowing for online doctors to diagnose and prescribe ADHD meds. I took an online test, hopped on a two-minute Zoom call with a doctor, and she sent the prescription straight to my pharmacy. It was that easy. Perhaps too easy.

Then began my golden era of productivity.

My fingers flew over the keyboard like a dog with the zoomies. I ran through my to-do list and asked what else I could do. I didn’t daydream at meetings. For the first time in my adult life, I didn’t get freezing cold at night, and I stopped falling asleep early under a blanket. My body temperature regulated, my resting heart rate rose, and for the only time in my life, I actually lost weight. Oh, and I could drive at night!

So many things improved—it really felt like magic.

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But here’s the thing—what looked like my golden era of productivity eventually unraveled into one of the most surprising lessons of my healing journey. What I discovered about Adderall, mushrooms, and my body’s natural wisdom is something I never could have seen coming. I share the rest of this story—and many other vulnerable ones like it—only with paid subscribers, because they are the ones willing to walk with me into the most intimate, raw, and transformative terrain.